It doesn’t matter if you are newly paired or have been in a relationship for many years, every couple experiences anxiety at one time or another. Sometimes, only one partner will have anxiety while the other person is unaware of anything is wrong.
Everything from big issues like infidelity and finances to smaller problems such as not helping around the house can cause anxiety in one or both partners. Even the smaller issues can become major problems between two loving individuals and send them into counseling.
Before visiting Honey Lake, read over these 7 ways anxiety can wreak havoc on your relationship.
- Not Working Out Your Childhood Issues
Many individuals grew up with emotionally unavailable parents and this affects their relationships as adults. These adult children do not trust another person to be there for them when they need them the most. This is part of the personal attachment issues and can become a major issue in nearly all of their adult connections.
One of the main coping mechanisms a child learns when they have an unavailable caregiver is to suppress their feelings. This is often a better option than expressing their needs. Most children realize early on that if they express their needs, they won’t be met, so they go the opposite direction. When an adult holds in their needs, they can become resentful and angry. When this type of behavior is released during a relationship, it can cause major anxiety for everyone involved.
- Holding on to The Past
Something that can cause anxiety, along with trust issues and resentment, is holding on to the past. When one of the adults in a relationship brings up something from their shared past, this can cause hurt feelings and anxiety on both sides. The past could be something someone said or did to hurt the other person, either on purpose or by accident.
Either way, it is important to let go of past hurts. One way to do this is to work through what was bothering you at the time you are upset. Do not let things go and build up. If your partner has hurt your feelings, say something about it. Talk to one another about your feelings is the best way to avoid bringing up the past because it will be resolved.
- Poor Communication
When two people hold back anger or love from one another, this will cause issues like anxiety and resentment. Learning to communicate your feelings and what to do about something that hurts you, is going to be beneficial for your relationship. The same can be said for holding back love. If you love your partner, show them, tell them, and don’t stop showing them how much they mean to you.
When something is wrong, even if it has nothing to do with your partner, allowing yourself to express your feelings is a good way to keep communication open between the two of you. When your partner is understanding and can sympathize with you, you will feel more confident in your own experiences and become a better partner.
- Lack of Trust
Unfortunately, a lack of trust is a major cause of anxiety among partners. This is an issue that may come from the individual’s childhood or adolescent years. Not being able to trust your partner is a gut-wrenching feeling and is not easily fixed.
Couples counseling or individual therapy may be needed to reverse the effects of a lack of trust. One of the major issues facing the person who cannot trust is a feeling of abandonment. Once this person realized everyone leaves, either by choice or due to death, they will become a little more open with their partner. Some individuals feel as if they or their partner will live forever, therefore they will never leave them.
- Controlling Personality
When one of the partners has a controlling personality, the other person will become anxious. The controlling person will need for everything to be perfect and to go as he or she says. This can be extremely difficult for the other person since there is no such thing as a perfect partner.
If both partners have a controlling personality, there will be trouble in paradise from the beginning. Each partner will try to outdo the other in terms of bossing around the other person. This will cause an abundance of anxiety in both partners. A relationship should be a partnership. Both parties should be able to make decisions and give directions equally.
- Drug and/or Alcohol Abuse
If one partner is engaging in self-destructive behavior like drug or alcohol abuse, the other partner will experience more than their fair share of anxiety. Besides worrying about their partner’s health and wellbeing, the person not doing the caustic deeds will have to deal with that person’s altered mood.
Abuse of alcohol and or drugs can add to an individual’s diminished critical thinking. This may cause the person to accuse the sober person of cheating, among other non-existent acts. This will put more pressure and anxiety on the relationship that sometimes can cause irrevocable damage.
- Opposite Personalities
Sometimes, opposites attract, but they may not be able to sustain a lasting relationship. If one partner is outgoing and talks to everyone, but the other partner is reserved to the point of shyness, this union may not last.
Sometimes individuals believe they can change their partner into the person they have always dreamed of being with. This is a sure way to cause anxiety in one or both of you. People don’t change unless they really want to, and then they will work on it themselves. No one can make another person change.
When you or your partner begin to feel anxiety surrounding your relationship, think about what the cause of it could be. Sit down and talk about things that may be bothering you and what you can do to overcome the anxiety.
If you cannot work things out on your own, it may be time to visit a counselor to help sift through issues and give you solid advice to overcome problems.