Divorce is one of the stickiest situations for anyone. Everyone gets into a marriage hoping to have the happily ever after experience. Unfortunately, it is not always the case. Sometimes, as much as you may want to keep the fire burning between you and your spouse, things may seem to be better off with you apart. Divorce is also agonizing and even more so if you do not know what to expect.
Deciding to get a divorce is a hard decision but could sometimes be the best option to resolve matters healthily. The challenges of ending a marriage will be more bearable if you know what to expect. Here is what you need to know about divorce:
Not All Advice is Good Advice
When you notify people that you want to get a divorce, you will most likely get an avalanche of divorce advice from your friends and family. While they may be well-meaning and wanting the best for you, you should take their advice with a grain of salt. Something that may have worked for them might not work for you. You need to understand that divorce is personal. No two situations are the same.
Do not discount all advice entirely. Just ensure that you do not take all their opinions blindly and apply them to your circumstance.
You Will Make Crucial Decisions
Divorce settlements involve making hard decisions like deciding whether to sell the family home or who to keep custody of the kids. Divorce involves a lot of hard, life-changing decisions. Do not make impulse decisions that you have thought over well for the mere reason of getting things over with at the moment.
Consider all the potential consequences of your choices. You could hire a professional that will help you maintain a clear head as you make those necessary decisions.
It Can Be a Costly Affair
Divorces have generally been expensive. It does not matter whether you are the one to pay or the one to receive alimony. All parties in divorce end up feeling like they have received a financial beating. That said, there are ways to ensure that you incur minimal costs. Before hiring a divorce lawyer, you should do a bit of research. For example, here is a guide answering How much does a divorce cost in England and ways to save on the legal fees.
Having a rough idea of how expensive the whole process is may encourage you to go for other options like an uncontested divorce. Depending on your situation, this will save you money and emotional agony.
Your Kids Are Not Getting a Divorce
If you have kids with your now ex-partner, try to end things peacefully. It is easy to say cruel things about your former spouse in the heat of the moment. No matter how strongly you feel about them, try to be respectful, especially in the presence of the kids. The more you bicker with your former partner during a divorce, the more damaging the process gets for the children.
Unless there was a history of neglect or abuse, you should encourage your kids to form a healthy bond with their other parent. You could consider getting a mental health professional to guide you and your children during the transition period. That will help you address their needs during the challenging process.
Getting a divorce is not an easy decision. But, sometimes, it is a necessary one. Having some knowledge of the process and being aware of what to expect makes things a little easier.
*Photos by Alex Green