Options for Lesbian Couples Looking To Begin a Family

Posted November 25, 2021 by in Lifestyle

If you currently in a lesbian relationship, you may be thinking of starting a family. Years ago, this would never have been an option. However, with changing societal acceptance and new technology and techniques, anything is possible. 

Lesbian couples have more options that ever for having children. You can adopt and there are ways to conceive if that’s what you’d like. There may also be some options that you weren’t aware of. What you choose to do will depend on your circumstances and the wishes of you and your partner. The great thing is, a family can be made in any number of ways, as long as there is love. Here is guide to the options you have as well as information that you need to know when it comes to a lesbian couple starting a family. 

Intrauterine Insemination

This method is when you use your own eggs (or your partner’s) to become pregnant. You can choose a donor for the sperm, and it is placed into the uterus. The process involves a long catheter inserted into the vagina, and often a  course of medications that will help ovulation and a safe insemination. 

One of the great things about intrauterine insemination is that you can get it done in a clinic with a doctor and a team of technicians, or you can have a home insemination. Many people choose the home option because it allows them to be comfortable and calm. It also allows for turning it into a special time with your partners, since you can schedule an evening or a day around the insemination. Selecting a donor is usually done online, and the specimen is shipped directly to your home. Many couples choose to have both partners partake in insemination to increase the chances of success. Just make sure that you are prepared to have two babies in that case. 

IUI isn’t always covered by insurance, so check with your provider to make sure. Otherwise you can expect to pay up to $5000 for the process. The cost can vary based on a number of factors, such as how much medication and monitoring you will need. Check with your preferred clinic or donor sperm provider to get an accurate assessment of the specific costs for your case. 

Some other things to consider include your own comfort with using a catheter. Also, even if only one of you gets inseminated, there is a bigger chance of having twins or multiples than with natural conception. The success rate according to your age and health history can vary as well. 

In Vitro Fertilization

In vitro fertilization also involves inseminating an egg with donor sperm. However, the egg is in a lab outside of the uterus, and then placed back in. During this approximately 3 week process, the pregnant partner will need to take several medications to make sure that her body is ready for implantation. It is also an expensive procedure, as it can cost as much as $30,000 depending on your specific situation. 

One attractive aspect of IVF is the possibility that one partner can be an egg donor, and the other can be the one who becomes pregnant. That way, both partners can be involved in a biological way with the new baby. 


If neither of you wants to be pregnant, or you cannot because of infertility or other health reasons, then surrogacy may be the way to go. Instead of one of you going through IUI or IVF, you can have another carry the baby for you. That way, at least one partner can still have a biological attachment to the child. This is a very expensive option, and it’s possible to cost close to $100,000. However, if it fits in your budget it is very much a viable choice. 

Make sure, however, that you have a very strong contract with the surrogate. You are essentially “adopting” a baby from her after she gives birth, so parental rights need to be clearly laid out for everyone to understand. 


There are many babies and children out there who do not have parents and are looking for loving homes. You and your partner could choose to provide such a home for one or more of them. There are many ways to adopt, from a private adoption to adopting from an agency. You can adopt babies, toddlers, adolescents, and teens. 

No matter what you choose, your family will be special to you. In the end, it doesn’t matter how you do it, as long as you are building the life you want for you and your partner.

*Photos by RODNAE Productions