Each person is looking for a “soulmate,” which he or she is missing in their lives. Some people are not in a rush to start dating, and some people start romantic relationships earlier than others (for example, a relationship that started at school). The university is also a great place to find your soulmate because there are many new strangers who are so different from each other. What if somewhere in one of the halls you meet your only one?
There have been numerous cases where a crush on a classmate has blossomed into true love and a serious relationship. And you shouldn’t dismiss love because of the load of homework as you might miss your chance. Of course, this is a wonderful idea, but keep in mind the disadvantages of such a relationship, which you should familiarize yourself with first.
Is college/university love for life?
Surely, you’ve heard from your parents that you should look for an intelligent and good person at university, that you’ll have comparable interests as a result of your faculty choice. However, many of us are terrified of making a mistake, believing that this is the last chance we have.
A romantic relationship can arise not only with a groupmate but also with a coursemate. And this is not surprising, because there are much more people on the faculty than in the group. There are, of course, some advantages here, because you can ask your loved one nicely “Please, write my paper for me” and he/she will definitely help you with homework and also you can talk about the teachers. Even better, you will see each other less frequently, which means you will not get tired of each other.
What are the disadvantages of a romantic relationship at college/university?
Romances at university, of course, have positive aspects, but in one moment can become a huge problem for you. Let’s take a closer look.
Learning difficulties because of relationships.
When you see your loved one all the time, what kind of study can you talk about? Especially if your relationship has just begun, you want to spend as much time as possible with your loved one. You will need the ability to concentrate on the learning process as much as possible, and this is not what everyone can achieve.
But the sneaky hormones turn off all thinking abilities, which means that all the educational information passes your ears, and in practice, it is difficult to focus on the tasks, analyze them and find the answer. There is one right solution for our brain, which sits either next to you or at the next desk and smiles sweetly.
Unfortunately, you can’t get distracted and fully immerse in your studies. And it’s all because of the chemical processes in our body. The only true option is to sit away from each other.
Of course, you may think that you don’t care at all about what people say behind your back. And they usually focus on love stories, which gossipers devour like vultures.
If the group is friendly and open, then be prepared for jokes, both friendly and not so friendly (if your couple is not to someone’s liking). This can interfere with your feelings and set some limits. Especially if your soulmate differs from the established standards related to the appearance of a person. For example, if he or she is too shy and silent or wears different clothes.
Over time, of course, it may end, but initially, it may even cause conflicts between you and throw a shadow over the initial period of your relationship. And if you break up, be prepared for the fact that dozens of people will ask you why and how you broke up and ask how hard it is for you and so on.
But you don’t have to give up on a relationship because of that, as it may not necessarily happen to you. Maybe you’ll find groupmates who will approve and respect your choice and stay out of the way. But it’s better to be prepared for anything.
It’s hard to take your mind off of your joint routine.
When you are in different groups or institutions, you have areas of life that are not interrelated. You can take your mind off of your own thoughts and discuss something else. But when you study together, there are a few non-contiguous areas that you can distract yourselves from and unload from your boring routine. Besides, you can take a break from each other. That is, in order to have harmony in your relationship, there should be a variety of activities in addition to common activities.
If there isn’t anything like that, we recommend that you look for it in the near future
A very hard breakup.
Not all relationships end in marriage. Let’s say you are sure that this person is the most perfect and there will be no one better, but suddenly all your dreams collapse. Unfortunately, feelings are very unreliable.
However, the most unpleasant aspect of a breakup is that your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend will constantly be in front of your eyes and close by, causing discomfort. So, right after a breakup, try to see less of each other so that the trauma of an unsatisfactory relationship can heal quickly.
And what to do if you suddenly fall in love with the teacher?
You can see a romance between a teacher and a student on TV shows, soap operas, and in the movies. But you should understand how careful you need to be in such situations and what the consequences could be. So, why it is better not to have a relationship with university professors?
Standards of morality.
If you have feelings for an older teacher, keep in mind that he or she is likely to have a wife/husband and children at home. Of course, love can be at any age, but our culture has evolved in such a way that such relationships are no longer acceptable. Already after these two moments, it’s worth considering whether you really need it.
Yes, he or she may appear to be in excellent health, but time inevitably takes its toll. There is an age difference. You have different upbringings, different views, different values, and different worldviews. Unfortunately, if you think you’re on the same page, it’s more than likely that you’re wearing “pink glasses”, which will soon crack. And all of this will eventually lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
Neither you nor he/she needs to hear rumors at the university, and especially not if he/she has a spouse. Especially if your chosen one is single.
Inattention in studies.
Of course, he/she will help you, for example, by improving your grades in his/her course or asking for help from others. This may be a plus, but then what good is studying if you don’t gain any valuable knowledge?
Again, everyone who is not lazy will discuss you if your secret is revealed. Not everyone can withstand such public pressure.
Did you meet your husband or wife at university? Let us know in the comments below!
*Photos by cottonbro