When your best friend is going through any kind of upset you instinctively want to help them, but supporting your bestie when they’re going through a divorce can be especially difficult. Even if the situation has not been acrimonious, for example, in a no-Fault Divorce, it’s still important to be mindful of how you show your support.
If one of your friends is going through a divorce, here are a few things you can do to support her during this difficult time in her life:
When you’re responding to a friend’s divorce woes, you may want to support by giving your advice or sharing your own experience. However, one of the best things you can do is simply listen. Let your friend off-load all their feelings to you. For them, this alone can provide comfort. They may have been thinking a lot about certain worries or concerns and getting this off their chest can feel a huge relief. They are not necessarily asking for you to tell them what they should do. Avoid asking lots of questions, even if you are unclear of the full facts, people usually open up in their own time and feel more at ease doing this. If they are seeking legal guidance you can look up online divorce reviews for the best legal service.
Show Support as a Partner Would
Going through a divorce while also handling practical matters like child care or working may feel overwhelming to your friend. You can ease this burden a little by offering to help with errands, making a meal, babysitting or carrying out jobs around the house that their ex-spouse may have typically done. Not only does this help alleviate the load of everyday tasks, but emotionally, it shows that they are not alone in the process.
Be Present Long-Term
The divorce process itself can be challenging, and the recovery period that follows can be potentially harder. The person your friend was married to represented a future that has not come to fruition and there is understandably, a grieving process to work through. This can comprise of unexpected feelings, ups and downs and significant events and milestones can bring emotions back to the fore for your bestie. Holidays and occasions like Valentine’s Day, Christmas and anniversaries will be difficult. Inviting your friend to your own event can help, even if they don’t go along, they will appreciate the gesture. Alternatively, you can arrange with them to do an activity on this day or occasion, offering a welcome distraction.
Avoid Bad-Mouthing Their Ex
Although it’s obviously tempting to point out the shortcomings of your bestie’s previous partner, it’s not always something they want to hear. There could still be feelings there and on occasion, people starting a divorce can have a change of heart and rekindle their relationship, leaving you in a potentially awkward spot.
Give Them Privacy
Although it’s important to make your friend feel connected at a time when they may feel lonely. Striking the balance between this and allowing them space is the key. Sometimes they may just want to be on their own and not feel like talking about their situation. We all process things differently, knowing your best friend so well, you will innately know when the time is right to step away for a bit and when to draw yourself a little closer.
Recognise Their Progress with Them
Too much positivity at the wrong time can push your friend away. You want to cheer them up, yes, but you need to get the timing right with this one too. When the moment comes, demonstrate to them the progress they have made since the start of the divorce and how far they have come. Explain that they have gone through some of the most difficult parts of a divorce and brighter days are ahead.