Nobody said marriage would be easy, but sometimes no matter how hard you try, it just isn’t right anymore. When you are facing the end of your relationship, it is an incredibly emotional time as you start to accept the future you envisioned for yourself on your wedding day has turned into something quite different. You might feel angry, upset, lonely, and even relieved. Although it might be difficult to think about what comes next, it’s important to move forward so you can begin to heal.
Here are a few tips that you might find useful if your marriage has recently ended:
Get a Divorce Lawyer
If you and your spouse have decided it’s best to end your partnership, the first thing you need to do is find yourself a good divorce lawyer. This might feel cold, but the truth is divorce can get ugly, even if you did end things on amicable terms initially. Dividing assets and finances that you built together during your marriage is part of the process, and you might find you want something that your ex-spouse isn’t willing to part with so easily.
A specialist lawyer can help you to negotiate the terms of your divorce so you can get the best settlement and put the past behind you.
Find a Place to Stay
Somebody has got to move out if you’re ending your marriage, and if that person is you, securing a new apartment is another top priority. Even if your ex has already vacated the home that you shared, you might find that staying in that environment is too painful and that you’d rather move on and start fresh somewhere else.
If you are struggling to find somewhere to move into quickly, ask if you can stay with a close friend or relative temporarily. They could also provide you with some emotional support during your stay, which you will need.
Talk to Your Kids
If you have children, this will also be a very difficult period for them as well. A lot of kids tend to blame themselves when their parents split up or even blame a specific parent for the issues that are affecting the family. Even if you are angry with your ex, try to avoid expressing this in front of your children. Their relationship with your ex shouldn’t become strained due to your opinions, and you risk them resenting you for doing this as well. Tell them that they are loved, that none of this is their fault, and everything is going to be fine.
If your kids are having a very difficult time with your divorce, getting them to speak to a therapist about it might help.
Organize Your Finances
Divorce proceedings can be expensive, and this isn’t just because of your lawyer’s fees. You will also need to think about how independently living again will affect your income. Organizing your finances and adjusting your budgets to suit your new situation is a must if you don’t want to be caught short or struggling between paychecks.
While these things might not help you feel better about your divorce, they will help to make the process a little bit easier for you. Just remember to be kind to yourself during this time and to look forward and be hopeful for the future.
*Photos by Alex Green