If you’re familiar with the life simulator games, from the Sims to similar app-based games on your smartphones, you’ve probably noticed that sometimes things can get out of control. You started with a simple goal, and the next minute, someone else has stolen your house and family. What happened?
In a simulation game, it’s fair to say that random events could have been caused by an algorithm or other players. You restart the game and start over.
When bad things happen in real life, though, there’s no option to restart the game. As unfair as it can be, sometimes life throws lemons at you, and you can’t turn them into refreshing lemonade.
While I like inspirational quotes just as much as the next person, there are times I just want to roll my eyes at some of them. Unfortunately, it’s not always that easy to just move on and let go. Life is hard for all of us, but it is also unfair at times. None of us are alone in that, we have all experienced days, weeks, months, and years where life is simply unfair. But we are strong, we are warriors. You may not be able to get over something, but you can get through it and sort out most crises that are thrown at you. So…
When life is unfair, here are a few ways you can cope:
When Everything Becomes Too Much
When you literally can’t even…
The reason why we want to hit the restart button on our lives is that things can get out of control rapidly. You just want to pause life while you relax. Unfortunately, when you feel overwhelmed, there’s nowhere to hide. Yet when everything feels too much all the time, you can discuss the issue with your doctor. You may even notice a pattern, such as a loss of interest in hobbies or feeling guilty all the time, which is a sign that you might be depressed.
There’s no such thing as pressing pause to regain control, but you can use antidepressants to help you cope with everyday functions. Seeing a therapist in tandem with taking antidepressants is the best solution, however mental health is not easily accessible financially for many (go Bernie, go!). But if it’s between a $5 dollar latte every day and your mental health, maybe consider just making your coffee at home. You matter, and that’s a very small sacrifice to make.
Not willing to give up your daily latte habit to afford seeing a therapist? That’s okay, there are other things you could do. For example, check through your app subscriptions. You may be paying for a few apps that you haven’t used in months. I have been paying $10 to Duolingo, yet I haven’t touched it in 3-months. That’s $30 bucks I could have saved right there.
You Can Complain When Things Are Not Fair
Sometimes an unfair situation is just that, an injustice. You have the right to complain about things that shouldn’t have happened. While it doesn’t always resolve the problem, it can help you deal with the consequences. For instance, if you’ve been robbed of a loved one suddenly, you can obtain a fair resolution to your wrongful death case.
If you feel you have not been treated fairly in the workplace, you can reach out to a lawyer to discuss getting compensation for unfair dismissal. In other words, life is not always fair. But it provides you with an opportunity to complain about it. No need to keep it inside, it’s okay to cry.
Crying is not a sign of weakness. If someone has ever made you feel that way, cut them out of your life immediately. Sometimes a good cry can simply make you feel better.
Don’t Be Scared to Fight Back
Not all wrongs are recognized. More often than not, social injustice carries on because nobody pays attention. It takes a lot of time to change things. Think of Rosa Parks, for instance. Her fight started on a bus when she refused to give away her seat to a white passenger. Her battle against racial segregation and for the Civil Rights Movement started on a bus seat. But it changed the face of America. When life’s unfair, sometimes, it’s questioning the little things that can change the big picture.
I don’t mean to bring out my Harry Potter nerdiness, but that series is filled with very deep quotes that make you think. One of my favorites being:
Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.
Albus Dumbledore said that in the fourth novel, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I say that to myself often, because injustice is still very much alive, especially for POC in the Unites States. If I see or hear something that is simply not okay, I do my best to speak up.
Just last week, my Uber driver and I were talking, and he kept looking back at me. I found it odd but didn’t think too much of it. He then asked me where I was from, I said “I lived in NYC for 8 years, but I grew up in CT.” Then he said “no, I mean where are you from from.” Uh… I told him I was Dominican and that I was born in Santo Domingo. His tone changed, he got fearful and he said “Oh shit! You are? You don’t sound it.” Wait, what? I asked him what a Dominican sounds like. And here we go…”Not white, Dominicans don’t use big words.”
Don’t Think You’re on Your Own; There Are Good Samaritans Around
Bad things happen. And while you can’t always prevent them, you need to put your faith in the people around you. In a time of crisis, you will find that you are not alone. It’s in human nature to care for each other. And you’ll be surprised to find that even people you don’t know are ready to help you in times of need. Helpful, kind, and good people are everywhere, and they make your day a little sweeter when you feel lost.
It can be a taxi driver going out of their way to take matters in their own hands or someone paying your bill at the restaurant. You’re never on your own. When I got hit by a car three years ago, I was told that passerby’s saw the whole thing and they stayed and gave a full police report as witnesses. They didn’t have to do that, they could of just kept walking and mind their own business. I don’t know who those people are, but every now and then, I do think about their kindness.
Dealing with crises in life is hard. But you can find plenty of help and courage to handle the lemons that life throws at you.
How do you handle some of the BS life throws at you? Let us know in the comments below!