Not all marriages end up happily ever after and waiting on your grandkids to visit. Almost half of the married couples in the US end up getting divorced and going their separate ways. However, some spouses decide to stay together for the kids even though the home environment is toxic. You might stay in an unhappy marriage to avoid divorce, thinking that you are protecting their kids. In reality, you might be doing more harm than good.
Here are a few reasons why an unhappy marriage is much worse for your kids than a divorce:
Unhappy spouses tend to become absentee parents
You wouldn’t be too eager to go back home if you are not getting along with your spouse. If you find yourself working longer hours or spending more time with your peers to avoid being at home, it is high time you consider a divorce. In some instances, a divorce could be advantageous and result in the children gaining a parent.
Your kids will always be walking on eggshells at home
Children love to feel safe and thrive when they grow up in a home with a sense of predictability. If you are constantly fighting with your spouse, you rob them of their peace of mind as they will never know when the next fight could erupt. In such cases, you would rather divorce amicably with your spouse to diminish the conflict and create a calm environment for your kids.
Fighting couples set an unhealthy template for romantic relationships
Your children look to you as their role models. Suppose you condone violence and choose to stay in a toxic marriage to maintain the nuclear family status. In that case, you unintentionally teach the kids that it is okay to settle for less. Your young ones will grow up depressed, passive, or with a warped view of romantic relationships based on what they observed from your unhealthy marriage.
Feelings of low self-esteem and unworthiness start to develop
Even the most confident child can develop feelings of uncertainty if their parents are discordant. According to a top Edmonton divorce lawyer, a smooth divorce is enshrined in the law to also help children and families. That is why it is important to avoid any unhealthy legal tussles should you go down that route. It is also important to find a good attorney to help make the process easy for you, the kids and other family members. A good lawyer will assist with issues pertaining to validating reasons for separation, splitting of assets, and custody of children where need be.
In fact, most children tend to think they are the reason their parent’s marriage is failing. With time, they develop low self-esteem and start to feel unworthy. Parents in an unhappy marriage who are chronically dissatisfied with themselves and life in general raise children who grow in to internalize their shame and anger. It would be best to get a smooth process to enhance the well-being of your children.
The kids will most likely pick up on the tension
If your kids are always used to seeing you fight, you are better off getting divorced than staying together. Even though you don’t fight in front of the children, they will soon pick up on the lack of happiness, cooperation, and harmony between the two of you. Children who grow up with discordant parents develop numerous mental and psychological scars.
You would rather have an amicable divorce with your spouse than stay together and create a tense environment for your children. We hope that you will create a loving environment for your children to thrive, even if it means you will no longer stay together.