Post-Breakup Self Care – A Guide to Overcoming Heartache

Posted March 22, 2019 by in Lifestyle
Post-Breakup Self Care – A Guide to Overcoming Heartache

Breakups are a natural and expected part of one’s life. While in the beginning overcoming such events might be difficult, in the long run, the event might have been for the best. Overcoming heartache and the emptiness that follows a breakup might be difficult. It has been proven that women tend to suffer more in the beginning and make an amazing recovery after a few months. But healing and taking care of yourself during those first months might be what everybody needs for a smooth and fast recovery. Keep reading below to find out some of the best tips tricks and ideas to get over heartache fast and unshattered.

Stop Thinking About It in a Toxic Way

People tend to think about their failed relationships in terms of what would have been different if they behaved or acted differently. For many, thinking that something is wrong with them and then trying to change to prevent further failed relationships acts as their safety net. While finding out what went wrong is a good way to fixing things in the future and helping you overcome heartache in the long run, putting too much emphasis on this aspect is counterproductive.

The first thing that women can do to protect themselves against negative emotions and a toxic stream of thoughts is stopping completely that stream of consciousness. This is a story that already ended, so obsessing over things that might have been different and “if” scenarios are already futile. Try to focus on the things learned from this relationship, instead of blaming yourself for it failing. This is the only mindset that might help you achieve inner peace and avoid heartache.

Build a Support System

Learn how to offer yourself comfort when in distress. It has been proven that this can be effectively achieved by building a safety net, a support system around yourself. While learning how to control things that go through your mind is entirely your duty, you want to surround yourself with several people that will be there when you need to reach out to somebody.

There are certain instances where you may be tempted to reach out to your ex or when you will be reminded of them. In those cases, reach out to one of your close friends in the support system and have them prevent your destructive behavior.

Don’t hold yourself back from reaching out to one of your buddies. This will direct your stream of thoughts towards more productive scenarios and will prevent you from falling prey to a vicious cycle of blame and negative emotions. Heartbreak is easier to overcome when you have support!

Post-Breakup Self Care – A Guide to Overcoming Heartache

Stop All Contact with Your Ex-Partner

We mentioned previously there will be instances where you’ll be tempted to get in touch with your ex. Or, on the contrary, they may be tempted to get in touch with you. Either way, you want to avoid contact at all costs. In case they are the ones you left behind, you want to unfriend them on all social media platforms and block them as well.

They will still be tempted to call you or use different phone numbers to get to you. In this case, you want to make sure you avoid answering calls from unknown numbers and then you put them through a reverse phone lookup tool. These tools are just amazing, you can run a number through them and you will be provided with all the information associated with that particular number. This includes social media accounts, employers, fees and criminal record. This offers you the necessary flexibility and protection you need after a breakup. And trust us, it will come in handy in other instances as well.

Write Down Your Emotions

A highly effective way to handle your emotions is writing them down. You could even try to write a letter to your ex. Of course, you won’t be sending it, but it is a great way to create an outlet for all negative emotions and make room in your head for positive and happy thoughts.

Such strategies will help you say goodbye in a fast and efficient fashion, once and for all. In the process, make sure that you let go to all negative feelings: sadness, anger, gratitude that the relationship is over, wherever feelings come up in the process.

Remember that the purpose of this letter is not sending it, but laying your emotions and processing them in a more efficient fashion. This is a letter to use for your own grief, so burn it, throw it away or do whatever you find cathartic with it.

Of course, putting down all these emotions means that you have to get in tune with them, to fully acknowledge and understand those. Instead of searching for answers to what you feel and experience, specialists advise just leaning into them and accepting them as they are.

Distract Yourself

Working on your emotions is very important but you don’t want to spend too much time focusing on those. You want to make sure that you take a break from them as well. Learn a new language, pick up a new hobby, make sure that you occupy your time as much as possible with things that bring you joy and fulfillment. You may have heard previously about oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. Well, this hormone is released when you do something that brings you joy. And finding a hobby that brings you joy will have the same outcome cuddling with someone you love has.


Breathe. This is what you can do to overcome heartache best. Meditation is a great healing method used by people in everyday life, when their lives become too complicated, but also when they experience trauma or grieving. You can overcome negative emotions by adopting this habit and using it in your daily life. Pair it with yoga, for increased efficiency. This could be the new hobby that offers you a new boost of happiness and oxytocin.  

Post-Breakup Self Care – A Guide to Overcoming Heartache

How do you recover from breakups? Let us know in the comments below!

Photos by:

Kinga Cichewicz